


Keeping it Together

by saltwatersweets



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amputation, Child Death, Gen, God this hurt to write, Gore, Major character death - Freeform, SU AU Gone Wrong, Swearing, The Author Regrets Everything, alternate title: author likes to italicize every other word. for some reason., it took me almost as much time to edit the bold and italicization than to actually WRITE this, oh my God that was RIDICULOUS, technically because it's in the original au, this au just gives me f ee l i n g s yall, this just in: bismuth swears like a sailor when peridot/steven aren't around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-31 18:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21450991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltwatersweets/pseuds/saltwatersweets
Summary: Everything was better now, and Bismuth loved Earth for Earth, not for the cause she fought for. She loved the Gems working by her side, loved the Gems who had been there to repair the broken society that was Homeworld, and loved making things better.She loved today. Today had been perfect: sunshine, pretty clouds (that Lapis definitely had no part in causing, or so she said), and Little Homeworld was almost complete.Today had been perfect.So of course something had toscrew it up.
Relationships: Bismuth (Steven Universe) & Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe) & Peridot (Steven Universe), Steven Universe & Bismuth (Steven Universe), Steven Universe & Everyone
Comments: 16
Kudos: 148





	Keeping it Together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Spudinacup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spudinacup/gifts).

> a short fic for @spudinacup‘s “SU AU Gone Wrong”, you’ve probably heard of it by now. I just have,,, a lot of Feelings for this au and needed to write one of them out.

Bismuth always had to be the one keeping it together.

It’s what she was made for, y’know? Building things, repairing things, making sure they don’t fall apart on an unstable foundation. It was her job, her duty for the Diamonds and the Empire.

And she found that she loved it.

Not the “doing it for the Diamonds” part; the diamonds could choke on their own perfection for all she cared. It was the _building_ that entranced her; the idea of doing something _she_ wanted to do. And she did a damn fine job of it (though she would never allow Steven - or Peridot for that matter - to hear that sort of language) if she said so herself. Little Homeworld was only a few months away from being complete, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t excited for the day the numbers were at 100%.

The last time she had felt this _liberated_ was when Rose offered her a job to build weapons she wanted to build instead of what Homeworld wanted to build, and even then, looking back on it felt more bittersweet than anything. She still had a lot to unpack with Rose, but she found she had all the time she needed before she’d get on that airport.

(Humans were so _weird_ with their phrases, but she learned to fit them into her vocabulary.)

Days were especially better when Steven or the other members of Main Four, as the remaining Crystal Gems had taken to calling the group, visited. Even if it happened at least once a week, there was no lying about the smiles that would be left on everyone’s faces. Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth’s certainly shined the brightest. Today, Amethyst had helped out a bit (well, she hadn’t eaten and painting supplies, which for her was helping out), and Steven said hi. A friend’s smile always gave her a smile. 

Yes, today had been a good day.

Lapis seemed especially excited about Little Homeworld’s completion status, which was nice. It was sometimes difficult to get her smile on worse days, but today she seemed happy and carefree. Peridot was smiling too, but then again, hers weren’t quite as rare.

Lapis’s smiles had gotten more and more frequent the last year, and all three were happy.

It had been such a good day.

So of course something had to _mess it up_.

Bismuth was outside when she first saw it. She had been bringing out a few newly made pots that would hopefully be used for flowers, and suddenly they had dropped from her arms and shattered on the ground. She didn’t bother picking up the pieces; didn’t even flinch when a few of the broken parts landed on her feet. There was no ignoring the clouds drifting apart and gathering as a large pink needle looking injector stopped by the lighthouse. Peridot saw it too, and breathed out,

“Holy smokes.”

Bismuth agreed.

She may have been primarily made of honor, but adrenaline was a pretty close second. Whatever that thing was doing on Earth, Lapis might be of help in stopping it, so she grabbed the blue Gem’s slim arm. The marine flinched for a second, but only for a second, and Peridot pointed at the injector. “What the heck is _that_ thing?” The Era Two Gem all but screeched. “Is that an injector? It doesn’t look like the ones at the Kindergartens!”

“Whatever it is, it’s a threat.” Lapis said, water appearing on her back in wings. “We’ve got to stop it; that’s where the Gems and Steven are.”

“Yeah! Crystal Temps are back together!” Peridot exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air, before her face grew a little sad. “Wait, Connie’s not here, and Pumpkin…”

She looked down for a second and her hand fell back to her side. A trash lid (she always seemed to be near those things) flew in front of her, and she hopped on it. She had really mastered her abilities now. 

“Let’s go.” Bismuth said. 

It was very lucky they had managed to install the warp today, or else they wouldn’t have gotten up there in time. The temple looked a little different from the last time Bismuth had seen it, but now was not the time for sight-seeing. Lapis had always been the fastest of the trio, and as soon as they warped to the Gems’ house, she flew out the door. Peridot was a few seconds behind, and the builder Gem sprinted right behind. 

All it took was a quick sprint up the hill.

The first thing Bismuth saw was a whole lot of _red_. It took her a minute to realize that the paint like substance was human blood.

The last time she had seen this much blood was thousands of years ago, back when humans had still fought in the Gem War. What the _hell_ had happened here?

She got her answer. She almost wished she didn’t.

It would’ve been so easy to collapse on the ground, as Lapis and Peridot had evidently done, when she saw Steven (the one who had unintentionally and then intentionally set her free, the one who had forgiven her for all her mistakes, the one who had pretty much forgiven _everyone_ for their mistakes, the one who had suffered so much for something as _unfair_ as the Gemstone that had been enclosed in his navel, the one who didn’t deserve any of this _bullshit_) lying bloodied on the ground, motionless.

It would’ve been so easy to run away from the graphic scene, to rub at her eyes furiously to try and erase the image from her mind, to leave the others to bring the little meatball _home_ and to think of something that could help then (maybe one of Rose’s fountains? They were still working, that could work).

It would have been so easy to stop the pink version of Steven from bringing down a magenta rejuvenator down on the heart-shaped Gem and smashing it to shards, to-

Wait.

_What._

If she had veins, they would have been full of adrenaline. What else could explain the mad dash she made towards the- the- what _could_ she call this being, who had no expression except for molten, bubbling _fury_? 

It was… surprisingly difficult to stop the weapon from smashing the Gem to pieces. She didn’t know why she was surprised; Steven was a _Diamond_ after all, he was _powerful_. 

The pink hand trembled with force, and it took everything in her power to keep the handle raised. “What the HECK are you _doing_?” She yelled with force and fear, hand shaking on the rejuvenator. “We _don’t_ shatter Gems… remember…?” 

His eyes gazed up at her. 

_Stars_, those eyes.

Every Gem knew the Diamond pupils when they saw them in their eyes.

She had never wanted to see them in Steven’s. 

He dropped the weapon, and she instantly relaxed a bit. He remained tense, but at least one issue was solved.

Bismuth let out an unnecessary sigh of relief. “Thank _goodness_,” she breathed, clutching the weapon to her chest. She spared the pink Steven another look, and found pink eyes staring blankly at her, searching for… _something._

He didn’t seem to find anything he was looking for.

She looked away.

Peridot had begun wailing now. Lapis was silent. 

He still stared, intense but blank. He seemed to be in shock, and she couldn’t blame him. A pat on his back was the best she could do. “Let’s get you home.” Bismuth said, adrenaline vanished, voice barely more than a whisper at this point.

(And if Bismuth picked the boy up and cradled him like a baby in her arms and desperately wanted to break down in tears and hold him close to her chest, and wanted him to wrap his arms - both of them - around her too, then it was never the matter.)

(And if she couldn’t stop herself from feeling around a little frantically for a heartbeat (even though she knew in the deepest part of her coding that there would be nothing) and giving out a little gasp when she found none, and tried not to imagine his dying whimpers, or how much it must have hurt, or how he had been so alone, then it was never the matter.)

(And if she wanted to take the Gem she’d bubbled and smash it beneath her feet herself, until there was nothing left but dust, but _it’s wrong_ and _you’re past that_ and _that’s not what Steven would want_ kept her from doing that, then it was never the matter.)

(And if she wanted to gently lay the child in her arms down (had it really been two years since they’d met in Lion’s mane? Some days it felt like it had been yesterday; some days it felt like she’d known him his whole life. After two whole years, though, he still felt as fragile and tiny and so, so very breakable in her arms as he always had.) and shake his Gem, desperately searching, begging, pleading him to just say something, to show some sort of _emotion, **please,**_ Steven had healed so many people, so many broken lives, why couldn’t he heal _himself_, then it was never the matter.)

(And if she instead chose to carry him to Rose’s fountain with the notes of a millennia-old lullaby that had been sung during the times of the Gem War falling from her lips, and to brush his messy, curly hair out of his face, and to hold him even tighter to her chest, to her exposed gemstone, because it may be the last time she ever gets to hug him, then it was never the matter.)

Bismuth always had to be the one keeping it together.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to scream at me. or spud. or rebecca.
> 
> or just scream. that's what i'm doing!


End file.
